Beware of friends bearing gifts.

BEWARE OF FRIENDS BEARING GIFTS! Have you ever heard the saying "beware of strangers bearing gifts"? It has mutated from the comment by Laocoon during the Trojan war. When he warned "beware of GREEKS bearing gifts". With Hector the greatest Trojan warrior dead and Achilles the greatest Greek warrior also dead. The war was pretty much a stalemate. But as is well documented. At the time of this war the greeks were pretty well known to be a sneaky bunch. Odysseus came up with the cunning plan to build a huge wooden horse. Where thirty of their best warriors would hide in the belly of the beast. The rest would pretend to go home. Watching from the Trojan city walls. The Trojans, thinking they were victorious when they thought they saw the Greeks sail away waited for night to fall then dragged the horse inside the walls. Thinking the horse had been left in tribute they all got drunk and went to bed. The Greek warriors were then able to climb down from the belly of the horse and burn the city to the ground. Laocoon's warning had been vindicated. Laocoon was the uncle of the Trojan prince Aeneas. Laocoon makes the memorable comment about being wary of Greeks bearing gifts. Laocoon believed the huge wooden horse known as the Trojan horse had men in it who would destroy the city of Troy. Laocoon was right of course. But no more trusted than the prophetess Cassandra who also warned the Trojans against the horse. Laocoon was a priest of Neptune, but this didn't save him from divine punishment when he thrust a sword into the side of the wooden horse, which was supposed to be an offering to Athena/Minerva. Laocoon and his two son were strangled by serpents from the sea. The Trojans considered this a sign that Laocoon had displeased the god whom he served, and that the wooden horse was sacred. Now then. Thats your enemies out the way. But what about friends and relatives bearing unsolicited gifts eh! Only the other day. Saturday 10th Sept to be exact. My darling wife came home after a hard days shopping declaring "hi love I got you something from the shop". "Oh great" I said. "what did I get" A nice pair of jeans from the charity shop. "But I have loads of jeans" I said. She said. "But they are your size and when I saw them I thought of you". Anyway if I'm honest, they do look nearly new and they do fit. I was touched and thought that she had been really thoughtful buying something for me out of the blue. We even had a cuddle that night. ( but thats for another lens ha ha) Anyway, next morning we wake up full of the joys of Sunday morning and the day off work. Which is rare these days. She says to me. " I saw Mary from work while I was shopping yesterday" " I hope she is well" I said. " she is, but she has a problem with her electric box" "you are good with electric aren't you? remember when you fixed ours when the lights went off" "No" I said. I said "I merely reset the breaker. I am not good with electrics" . "Anyway I told her you would pop round this afternoon to take a look" she informed me! "Oh thanks a lot" I said. "Thats my day off ruined then." Then BOOM. She hit me with it. "Hey you could wear your new jeans to go to Mary's in. See how comfy they are eh". Yeah, I thought. You saw some jeans and thought of me? Yes my dear. So in conclusion. If you are confronted with an unsolicited gift. No matter how innocent looking. Be afraid. Be very afraid and take covering action. Stock up with preemptive gifts. To nullify any bouts of generosity from friends or loved ones.